Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Blame




Nobody makes quilts

anymore

from scraps-

gathered, smothered

with pieces of

all the left

overs...


Some people don't eat

left

overs

or sugar, or walking creatures, or 

things that taste fishy-


Some say if

you dish it

you should take it

and some say 

No, thank you,

I'm full.


There seems to always be a way

To say, 

It is not right, it is not my-

fault-

lines lie

over there-


I was listening

Under a cover...

almost like, you know-

umbrellas 

were made to shield

the light

by design.


I don't like 

the shelter.

I get rained on-

Instead

I blame myself

for what cannot be 

unheard, retracted

undone


The word(s)

They

Use


They, them, the other

Way, they say 

Faults 

Sleep, for a time...


Painting by Henry Singleton, 'Ariel on a Bat's back' c. 1819 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

One and one are still one(s)




Widowed.

I know.

Defining the living

differing 

from the dead

no more

less is more

time

heals, they say, better

someday, you'll see, after

waking me from my 

apathy 

Alone

and at times 

afraid.

Arachnophobic, he was anyway

weakling for his size

entangled in his own webs

he chose to 

attach to hollow branches

before wind wakes

taking down 

all trace

of home, snare, trap, nest

I should feel blessed to be free 

of all the same hospice

And just this

One 

got away alive. 


Photo by Uwe Jelting, 2004 CC0, in Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons.

Saturday, October 2, 2021

Another Autumn Awaits


 

Falling comes naturally

as common as fear 

another body

knocked down-


Learning how to climb

up to the canopy 

out of the arbor awnings

each branch a rung

bell 

a ladder 

has no top


The horizon awaits this distant gaze

further than 

a crow flies 

an escape 

too far to grasp, too afraid to take

it all in

to begin again

asking...

What is more

No-

body needs to learn

anything except 

landing 

softly

before rising again

with an icy wind

at knifepoint

only to return 

home, rootbound

thirsting 

for more.



Artwork by Ellen Thayer Fisher, 'Fall leaves and Acrons' c. 1885 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Friday, June 26, 2020

Fear, Walls, and Fiery Tales


I stepped up
to the mouth of the cave
my chest plated-
the flickering light
sparking
my curious compulsion
for heat.

Come to find
not some majestic dragon
as projected upon a dirt wall
but an angry ogre
whose tongue sparks
and lashes out like
new flames.

The smoke
thick and decrepit,
his heart rots within
while his rosy cheeks,
black lips and eyes a glow
at me.
Despite this
I know, I am safe.

He will never leave
his inner rage

for the stronger
light of day.
And I could feel the heat
from behind
beckoning me back
to a place without...



Artwork by Francisco Goya y Lucientes (1746-1828), 'Seated Giant' circa 1818, in Public Domain. 

Monday, April 6, 2020

Hatchling


An open invitation,
gilt in possibility
lures the timid beast from its musty cavern

The cacophy of air rushing around the
least resistant, matters are pushed and pulled upon
Certainties, tossed about

Potentials

The sudden hail defies the timid pleas
to unfold and stretch into
a solid lain beam of radiant heat

How could the mortal help himself anymore:
Gather, hunt, peck and reorder survival skills
Such as Love and Hate

Coming down

In various degrees of murder and rebirth
Springs forth
Colorful codes saturated with noise
and clashing heads with tails

The now bleeding ink pools
and blurs your name
craddled under ashen light,
limp and holding onto remorse
absorbed into pulp and grain limbs.

The sky showed no where
Safe
Welcoming
these evolutions
without debate thy will has been
done.

Spring inflates its toll
on the feral sheltered soul
Whose i's have been gouged out in disbelief,
and now blinded by the most elemental
Considerations.

The beast grows
weary and anxious
trying to stand upright
under these conditions,
dissuasion and doom
overshadows the occasion
to fear or be feared.



Artwork by William Blake, 'The great red dragon and the beast from the Sea' c. 1805 in Public Domain. 

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Hades hand-basket


One basket for All
Eggs, incubating too much
heat with Entropy

And it could happen,
And it did
Worse than we
Suspected it
Could

Do-
No more
Harm or foulness
than the
Fear hath
Undone.



Painting by Alice Pike Barney (1857-1931), 'Girl with basket' c. 1888 in Public domain.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Off the shelf



The panic button was pushed.

A paranoia pandemic 
encircled the globe
like storms on Jupiter,
ominous and ionically charged
propigating and intending
malice and malaise.

Under the thumb of gravity, 
our species 
sees a-head
and worries-
Empty shelves and
idle ATM's
had nothing
to offer 
escape.

The bottom line
supply and demand 
Tottered instead of teetered.
Consumerism consumed
thoughts, dictators dodged
questions and regurgitated 
gossip. Useless garbage in, 
makes for rich compost out.

At least, 
It smells that way. 

Some of the mess we have made
cannot be broken down
in a lifetime.

And what was 
Disposable
was defined as-conveniently
placed within arms reach 
and whose sole purpose
goes down the drain
after use.
We all became less
flushed with the shameful
and frequent
ease of letting go. 

Adaptations aren't always
fine tuning, streamlining or
ameliorative animations.

Out of mind, out of sight, they assumed,
they were the last ones.

There was no TP, 
the people forgot the times
Before
being told-crap-
What to do 
When empty store shelves meant
No more-
control.

I too, fell hard.
Off the shelf, lastly,
I had been teetering at the 
Tip-top too long,
Dust settled
On my broad shoulders
everyone was afraid
to Touch-

Until this one time 
and occasion called for a round, 
ceremonious and rite
whereby church and state agree
the sheeple will never see
a way with out.

There is no more TP
But a surplus of crap.
There is too much TV
and not enough to
entertain
idle hands.

After all,
happily and 
Finally, 
some one, 
like me, be-
comes mysteriously 
Married 
and off the market 
for good-
ness sake,

Mass hysteria
May Be
chronic infections of fear
closer to the heart 
of survival and dependence
as if equal to or greater than
quantity signified security.





Image dated 25 September 1968
Taken in Brazil
Description: Manifestação estudantil contra a Ditadura Militar

Monday, January 13, 2020

Cold tile roof


The cat was absent at breakfast,
a first,
and
unappetizing feeling found me.

I sought, and called softly
in the pale predawn air
which carries things
a bit too far.

I heard his pleas
directed at me, but could not see
him,
anywhere-

Curiously
his green flashing pupils
caught my eye
in the mortuary moonlight
looking down
from the rooftop
yelling, cat calling down
at bewildering me.

After I rescued him,
again,
climbed the ladder
convincing him
his life was secure in my hands

we humans,
wondered how
or what
lifted his seventeen-
maybe twenty-pound body
up
and exposed all
forty-degree night...

Perhaps it's all a metaphor,
like when survival
is not a skill
but we do it anyway.

And it dawns on me,
that in reality,
rescues often
go the other way.


Painting by Camille Pissaro, 'Red roofs, corner of a village, winter time' c. 1877 in Public Domain. 

Saturday, August 31, 2019

We miss recess


It is all like going to school
and how a new school
is always bigger
than the last
and we all fear
getting lost
until years have passed
and we see more clearly
how little space this one
place
occupies-

And then we graduate
to a larger school
where we may find
ourselves
lost again-briefly-
before learning
how small
we make ourselves
is proportional
to our fear
of growth.


Photo of children on Playground in Missouri, (Author unknown), titled '9th and O'Fallon Streets', taken between 1900-1915, in Public Domain.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

To dwell


I hear the sirens and should be more
alarmed

they do not cease
and I meditate
or try to find the silence
in the thicket

of noise, nerves, signals,
cymbals
and flashing red lights.

Meanwhile,
the wind was howling outside
loose things slammed into each other
and the panes quivered
in their sills.

I thought of somewhere
life being whisked away
and let a fear
inside.

I stared at the door
but did not leave
knowing this
would be the death of me.


Painting by Paul Cornoyer, 'The lights in the window' c. 1910 in Public Domain. 


Monday, January 22, 2018

What are the Chances, Chances Are


What are the chances:

That your most despised frenemy suddenly found themselves 
sitting down next to you in the only open seat-


of being late and avoiding an accident-

Someone looks like you, but worse-
They are better versions-

Saying something meaningful aloud-
It becomes true-
Anything true can be said-

There are second impressions
called shadows-

We can make ourselves proud-
without too much pride-

Our dreams are someone else's-
You are the true version 
of someone else's dreams-

True love is only a test-

Chances are:

-more likely you will drown (one in eighty-four)
than getting killed by a shark (one in nearly four million)

-you will end up looking like your dog, your mate,
your old self

-the Universe listens

-fear of shadows once saved our lives
fear of shadows from towers we have built
enshrouds our lives

-nightmares are honest discussions

-Love's Labour's Lost



 Painting by Unknown c. 1892 in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.


Sunday, November 12, 2017

Ellipsis


.
The point was never to be asked
as to why or where
for it was only an aim
as if trying may turn
chance into favor.

..
We looked together
at the same art on the same page,
seeing two very different
images
before us in this self-portrait and
agreed only how much it resembled 
us, individually. 

...
Another reason to dig deeper
and to not avoid the back-breaking 
work or big fear,
is discovering 
that the work worked perfectly
for making castles with dirt
or other temporary shelters for our
homeliness. 







Painting by Colin Campbell Cooper, 1921 in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.




Friday, October 20, 2017

Tiny terrors


It was jarring the way she hopped so quickly 
from bunnies into horses.  Just innocent
little girl wishes, her histories with a small smile
naively, she shifts her weight with
her eyes nailed to the podium
avoiding eye contact it was hard to tell
she had known danger
intimately. 

“If the rider is nuts,
the horse bolts,” they always say.

Today, she spoke of the long lean
and pressure points.

Her shoulders showed 
she had seen her share of withers shake with warning.
Her baby hairs frizzed out in agitation 
that the truth is-
size may matter.

She had seen the rippling muscles so tense
her voice quivered,
where the equines veins are forced to sit atop
and strain under pulled skin at the nodes.
She had looked into glass ball brown eyes that flash a slit
of white, not watchful but warning.
Square teeth, as green as a homeless herbivore 
human, in flashes likewise with his
ears pinned back-

Hold on or get trampled.
Such is movement
in dreams. 

Afraid of spiders, she added at the end.

When she looks away briefly,
It becomes clear,
the horses have followed her gaze-
she should be afraid.
Rabbits don't hide 
in hats, but they do leave holes
so she can keep her fears 
penned up 
in poetry. 





Painting By Edmund C. Tarbell, 'Schooling the horses' c. 1902 in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

small hands grasping


Felt in the;
rising waters, smelt the burning bridges,
and earth shaken, we stirred.

Even with
all the experiences compiled and stacked up
neatly, labeled by section Gee through Oh
led us to speculate that all evidence was in,
led us to believe that the climate was changing
from what it was,
relative to our great-grandparents,
who lived through some such seasonal disaster
which meant-unpredictable-like problem children
also called
the worst disaster ever (recorded).

And happily after, we can only guess and check
the proofs, taste them for saltiness and watch
the dough rise after we kneaded so much bread
we leave crumbs from the crust
and consume our dumpling mid-
holes
with famished greed, a need to know more,
they add whine and tears.

The ocean was here,
the forest was there
the desert underneath
the seas in skies,

all knotted together with time holes
meant to entangle
flapping gills and arms
but we cannot move
we can no longer breathe
in this sphere
where we pivot one side
of day, the metronome counts down
impressing the wait
on Archimedes lever, impressing the significance
of the date, history made an impression
never remembered the seine before dusk.

The lines have been drawn and tossed out
on tiny planes with too small hands

decades tick us off like second helpings,
we root around for origin, more meaning
ungraspable, unfathomable in Astronomical Units
where impossible came through like starlight
and the concept of climate,
they way things were and should be
for-ever,
as if this were a personal experience
that could;
assure us, prepare us, predict, proclaim, four-
warn, shadow, ground, father, runner, tell-
For
all time,
from no presence of permanence
nailed down.

None could
"handle time on a grand scale."
One would only
assume the worst.


Painting by Claude-Joseph Vernet [Public domain], 'A storm on the Mediterranean coast' (1767) via Wikimedia Commons.


Thursday, June 15, 2017

The breaking of day


Start here,
Where it is new and all fear, trepidation and caution
We called it
A scream it is untranslatable.

Symbols show
More than scars softened over imperfections
Below we know
It feels more than numb, sealed memories to tote.

Foretold in light
In eight minute increment’s, sentiments sent somewhere
Between now and then to pretend de ja vu wanted to remind you
Nothing new better than you to rise
Lightly.




Painting by Nicolas Poussin [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Fight or flight


I propose
to usurp the power that death takes
hold, clamping its rusted iron jaw on degradable values
make diffused, diluted and convert to decrease aversion

Fight or flight for
Fear?
(clipped wings are for peacocks)

I have thawed my right angles
to meet the idea of my mortality
in mirrors and simulations and held white
for a time, essentially accepting
dirt nor ash is enough to subsist us

For the birds-just-ice

Leave me
Happily ever after
Life.

Lastly, carried away
Wishes molded into clay sink
while the will
always ends 
with wind.



Painting by Melchior d'Hondecoeter [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Friday, February 17, 2017

At most, Fear


When one notes
the Atmosphere,
I wonder
what do You
conjure, in imagery?
A mood, light,
aura, ambiance, affect,
air, Up, There,
Ascent?

Dare we 
try to touch the ceiling, 
thusly tempted terrestrials?

We determine to defy 
our own manmade heavy Laws.
We break barriers, sound out loud, 
maximums
as axioms. 
We try to fly, defy gravity,
soar for more
throw wishes at stars
and hold our breath.

At this inclination
drops dew hover insight,
and we called it Fog,
blurring dezephyr
into
at-mos(t)-phere.
Background muzak soothes
voluminous volatiles
(i.e. such as) we hear. 



Image of Earth atmosphere taken from the space shuttle Atlantis in May 2010. Photo Credit: By NASA, STS132 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Biting the breeze back


That wicked wintry wind
sere-cut through
blew ants inside
made windows whine
slammed doors
and cause cupboards to swell
cold as-

Ruffles-too nice
a term to use for what it does
to the leaves and hips of trees-
raucous a more apropos word
in a nutshell...

Nothing gets done
and it liberally spreads crumbs
for anxiety to expound and nibble upon
and dwell on and on it seems-

I have not slept in years
I have no fears
I can spell.

And there is the calendar
-blowing me off
in the distance;
this instance the breeze takes all
the breathable air,
despite the futile grasps
at straw structures
-Nothing-comes
together in this weather
I yell.



Painting by John Everett Millais, 'Blow, blow thou winter wind' (1892) in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Muted Miranda


It is clear
we are obscure.

You can relax.
It is right to let it go-
and by the way,
you never had control
autonomously anyway.

Listen,
I know you hear
the same eerie prophecy,
drowned in echoed epiphanies,
or floating on fantasies
of everlasting
We Were Here
dwelling in fear
and drawing it out
by quarters
intones.

Why we comply-
we know not
everything was true.

All will pass
all the same
as though
blue were something
new-yet there is nothing
we can do
but witness.

We have the right
to remain silent
left behind an
afterthought
with guilt
by association
lurking alone
for the safety of Others.



Painting By Pompeo Molmenti (1819-1894), The Arrest of Filippo Calendario, 1874 (FineArtAmerica) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons. 

Saturday, June 18, 2016

pirahnas


Society needs
pleasure and fear to feed its
lonely appetite.

Photo By Jh12 (Own work) [Public domain], taken at Aquarium of the Americas in 2007 via Wikimedia Commons.

Tres (trace)

Water Today, warm raindrops glass blurs, the blurry glassy, sharp sparkles sugar. Behind Evening, it was good. Leaves all turned into shadow...