Blame

Nobody makes quilts

anymore

from scraps-

gathered, smothered

with pieces of

all the left

overs...

Some people don't eat

left

overs

or sugar, or walking creatures, or 

things that taste fishy-

Some say if

you dish it

you should take it

and some say 

No, thank you,

I'm full.

There seems to always be a way

To say, 

It is not right, it is not my-

fault-

lines lie

over there-

I was listening

Under a cover...

almost like, you know-

umbrellas 

were made to shield

the light

by design.

I don't like 

the shelter.

I get rained on-

Instead

I blame myself

for what cannot be 

unheard, retracted

undone

The word(s)

They

Use

They, them, the other

Way, they say 

Faults 

Sleep, for a time...

Painting by Henry Singleton, 'Ariel on a Bat's back' c. 1819 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Click

It wasn't a loud sound
per se
but resonated deeply
each time I looked
                   into his eyes
                   briefly
                   penetrated through
                   his haze
                   and saw
the injured beast, writhing
and lashing out,
foaming at the mouth,
                   standing before him
unafraid
to listen
                    to his screams
     I wait...
for him to catch his breath
and re-stoke his anger
to re-assure
me
                      of fear
it becomes clear
he wants me
                      more than
afraid-

I stay still
staying
vulnerable
                      taking in
                      all the black hate
trying to
level up
with love
I try to feel
                       sorry-
for him
for us
for this pain-
sans blame-
when it clicked
                        the lock
and I rose

inhaling deeply,
and walked away.

Painting by William Kay Blacklock [Public domain].

Savage souls

Awaking in an angry state is akin to acting the part
of an apparition among the living,
all fume and red plumes of frightening doom.
Gloom radiates an aura, blue inside under dark ceilings and
thunder changes nothing permanently,
Just as the tree that falls alone
grows moss, grows quiet, and softer,
it is still a tree.
I am left pondering the source of this bitter acid
that arises, ferments, builds pressure
and makes fissures up to the surface-
Yet, I feel 
I must
already know
the signs of arson.

There was a day when I was a child
that I wished I could end it all. I tried to die,
I ate the poison apple
and failed to fall asleep for the
happy ending.
I then became enraged
at having been
the subject of someone else’s destructive desire
to fail. I did not disappoint
myself.

We have all been told often enough,
‘Patience is a Virtue’, this equals that,
and yet, this is short of equi-valency.
Silence does not speak a word
about solutions, nor does forgiveness map
alternative paths
to higher ground.
Believing is seeing hindsight
with foresight, evidently,
possession is one-tenth free will,
anymore is often less
than enough to kill you.

It was not meant to be
Today-
I live to hear the words;
fragmented, at-best, good luck, hard to grasp,
Not the right fit-
And I do not quit

because this
is for me.
And this
finds me
looking happy to have survived,
and finding
anger was a phase of letting go.

Elementary Watsons

Is it possible to have a predisposition to being irritated easily, is a short fuse hereditary, like being hairy? More probably-
it is a terminal condition of impatience with symptomatic rashiness,
hence the genetic reference.

It makes sense to source all flaws, same as weeds,
at the root. And again, this is more akin to original sin than I have ever been.

Ring around the Rosey, duck, duck goose, and the movements in musical chairs, the play of blame games...

We offer colorful complaints, abstain refrain and cherish precious twirled excuses,
tangled nooses for those ties that bind us back to our Pollyana
new Cleo tides. Skipping generations like stones on shallow surfaces,
convenience has been woven in.
In stitches of fabric-ated fusion by base pairs.



FOTO:FORTEPAN / Gál László [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.