Deep breathing lessons

In a fit of (out)rage-

directed at self-

via repeat rejections

and the subsequent dejection

received-

I could only see (in the) red.

The message was loud and clear, I fear

they all might be right and

I almost entertained

a harebrained

nasty notion, deranged desperate thought

that I could spend my days in drudgery

earning regular poor money

working for someone else’s benefit(s)-

Then I remembered 

that doesn’t work-for me

though it would make some others

(beyond) happy-it'd be

at my expense,hence,  I’d be in debt, 

lacking value, 

inherently strangled spiritually.

And after a moment of light

reflection-

I can now breathe

asymptomatically.

Image of painting by Frederick Sandys, Love's shadow, 1867 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.