Wait Capacity

Ghosted

by your own spirit,

soul stuck in a purgatory

until the facts are faced,

finally-

what then?

Lucid flesh like

apparition, unheard

and in between 

pain and suffering-despair

and the need to 

continue to breathe

cradling the heartbeat,

insisting endurance

and through it.

There was no There 

there,

carbon copies of conceit,

echoing

'I was here'.

Nothing gained

without loss,

as if grief gave more

than it took 

of Us

Distorted shadow figures

have mistaken

me

for empty.

Painting by Sergey Vinogradov, dated before 1938 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Holding hands

I had a grip.

A naked palm clenched

around,

I had a handle on the thing

softly carrying it with me,

until I noticed

the odd itch of thick blood

sliding down and out 

between my fingers.

Holding on too tight

but feeling nothing 

of pain or wounds

after barely

holding on so long,

I observed myself

doing it wrong.

After all-

the petals had fallen

behind me

leaving 

choices made for me.

No blessings to count,

no scent

to take in-

and it must have been dead

who knows how long...

Dried and brittle

piercing-

This is 

how I knew

He loved me not. 

Painting by Carolus-Duran, 'Portrait of Lucy Lee Robbins' by Carolus Duran, dated 1884 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons. 

The Happiness Pursuit

Personally,

I found Joy

frequently 

in fleeting moments

such as when 

the forty finches

fly into the ten-foot-tall

hibiscus 

for a breakfast buffet

of aphid ecstasy, 

platters sparkling and

moist with dawn dew

while the sun undresses

all the buds and

peels back perfect petals

with warm invitation

as in seduction.

Watching my cat

Goose

standing bipedal and erect, 

head cocked and

cackling quite curiously

at the busy borage of birds,

attempting to talk to them.

The finches 

feel no fear

seeming to respect

that we were here

first,

fleeing only when full.

Image credit: Poyt448 Peter Woodard, Hibiscus splendens - flower, a rainforest tree or shrub of eastern Australia taken 11/2005 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Retreat

 

As in

gift again.

We all like treats.

Pavlov proved this with his puppies.

What's more? More treats. 

And more treats, please.

Gluttony leaves no room 

for the famished to breathe,

too much of it all and and and

Consumed consumers consuming

treats that others had or wanted 

to have and to hold,

to stack behind the curtain wall

amass

nothing 

easily taken away.

The animal obeys

his carnal needs

and remembers.

The human collects

his dull desires

and forgets

we have already had it

All. 

Painting by Arthur Heyer (1872-1931), 'Bulldog sound asleep' c. before 1931 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Final

 

Finally married 

that man

Finally

left that man

for good

as soon as I could.

Finally saw

the predator

posing as a lover.

Finally found

myself

a deep dwelling place

far away and finally safe.

Finally 

alone again

and feeling-growing

Grace

becomes a knot

untied.

Although

no 

freedom 

is Final.

Painting by John Singer Sargent, 'Parisian Beggar Girl', dated c. 1880 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Relativity

 

This

    hour

Our

His-Hers-For-

                ever

lost love

In

(time)

        spaces squeezes

warps-distorts-skews

One plus One

is Nothing 

if one is taken away.

When divided 

           remains one

Doesn't matter 

              place-

holders or containers

for counting

in circles

and talking 

more or less

one share

of the pi.  

As soon as 

                   circumferences

can be drawn

like conclusions,

no connections

could be made

                  around

the pull, repulsion,

                  tension

of 

dark matters

held whole and balanced

         by the space

between

then and Now. 

Image info:

English: About 1,600 light-years away, in a binary star system fondly known as J0806, two dense white dwarf stars orbit each other once every 321 seconds. Interpreting x-ray data from the Chandra Observatory astronomers argue that the stars' already impressively short orbital period is steadily getting shorter as the stars spiral closer together. Even though they are separated by about 80,000 kilometers (the Earth-Moon distance is 400,000 kilometers) the two stars are therefore destined to merge. Depicted in this artist's vision, the death spiral of the remarkable J0806 system is a consequence of Einstein's theory of General Relativity that predicts the white dwarf stars will lose their orbital energy by generating gravity waves. In fact, J0806 could be one of the brightest sources of gravitational waves in our galaxy, directly detectable by future space-based gravity wave instruments.

Dated June 2005

Credit: Tod Strohmayer (GSFC), CXC, NASA - Illustration: Dana Berry (CXC)

Voluminous

I long to be

a book upon

that shelf,

an erect 

spine

gazing quietly

Outward

The kind of book

with extra 

creamy

blank pages

after

So we can continue

the story

a little past

The End...

Photograph info: 

Public Library- the work of Leyton Public Library Service, Church Lane, Leytonstone, London, England, UK, September 1944
Two young female library assistants rearrange and classify books at Leytonstone Public Library, Church Lane

Dated: 1944