Target practice

One of the most helpful things I have learned
(about myself) is my tendency to
Jump the Gun-

But I can't stand the thought of standing still
while others take aim
and bullets fly.



Image By Ronald N. Keam (awm.gov.au) Austrailian Women's Army Service, Queensland c. 1942 in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Lock jaw

Her too young jaw locks 

And she becomes her father

In this tic, to clench and wrestle

Her heavy breathing seems

Reminiscent of the little girl 
Not letting go

Of her bottle

For one second

Chance to make it without…

She gags at the mention

Of breakfast

Quite suddenly,

She says she is repulsed

And it may be

Because it reminds her

Of those café's and

Scattered mornings 
Here and there 
With her distant father.

He makes her stomach churn 
She says, she thinks she never needs
Breakfast again

It wasn't me, it wasn't 
Him, it was the way it started
To get tough
To hold on
To promises 
That are hard to swallow.

She learned about nourishment,
and its ultimate
End.

Nurture does not provide enough

For closed lips. Empty rooms, 
Empty calories, empty pockets 
Never kept us alive.
She is learning that it is more 
Fruitful to say, than for 
Him to hear.
Standing here and listening
Through the cracks,
I see narrow bands of light seeping out.

Forgiveness will be the only key

That opens her too young lockjaw
Allowing the Light its fitting
Liberty. 



Painting by Albert Edelfelt, 'At the door' 1901 in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Mann kind

“The diaries of opium-eaters record how, during the brief period of ecstasy, the drugged person’s dreams have a temporal scope of ten, thirty, sometimes sixty years or even surpass all limits of man’s ability to experience time-dreams, that is, with images thronging past so swiftly that, as one hashish-smoker puts it, the intoxicated user’s brain seems “to have had something removed, like the mainspring from a watch.”

-Thomas Mann (The Magic Mountain)

Should I have sweat through those provocative dreams

Since time is running out

And shall I have watched, disturbed and overcome with infatuation,

Pleasure, intent on the scene, all its folded lines hung out,

The mosaic scene, the spackled tiles of moments to keep

Float over the surface of settled matters.

Transience penetrates us to move on and on.

This minuscule thought that writhes its way under

Eyelids-between us, selves. We are

Something small, private, intrusive, edgy and loose.

The Splinter severed from the smooth grain

Pierces its way deeper into our softness, 
past the seventh gate, writhing in quicksand

Only to break off the relationship,

Leaving a white fleshy hole with dead skin
light floods inside singing delicate motors

Before it can draw an arc, or a

furrow atop the brow with vapor and sweat
and feel the tickle from

blood running down wrists and pouring out nostrils.

Resilience needs rest and a sense, a little air and darkness,
solitude in a moment to hold on despite the vertiginous spin
We are in this together, that you remember 

That this horrific nightmare

Has occurred to me before, many times, before

I woke. 



Painting by Ivan Aivazovsky, 'Pushkin at Ai-Petri during sunrise' 1899 in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

The results are in(side)

As much as we can
plan, prepare, project,
anticipate and speculate,

none of these internal actions
guarantee consistent results,
busyness does not guarantee business,

and if these formulae were applied
to physics, they would be rejected,
expelled from the multi-verse
for lack of proof.

Then again,
on second thought,
coincidence, chance, luck, and odds
are signs, symbols we play

while pretending to know the words,
pretending our sounds can sway
life
a little more our way.

We all have just one chance,
with many potential outcomes.
Any way
we aim our intent, cast our gaze,
manipulate, edit and re-calculate our theories,

the many verses when sung all together
touch notes, tickle fancies, connect
dark matter making the inconceivable,
tangible, the noise, harmonious,
and the future full of space.


Image By NASA/JPL-Caltech/WISE Team (WISE), Rho Ophiuchi [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Moot

They expected me to say something wise,

Profound, say, an illuminating discovery.

I honed opinions, made my share

of mistakes-

What can we know about the limits of others

Patience, heft, and resilience? 

No way. Hence,

Nothing could be said.

Too late is not better than never,

since never never was reason

enough

to stop

Here.

Photo credit: Imogen Cuningham,'My mother peeling apples' taken in 1910 (Public Domain) via Wikimedia Commons. 

The mouth heals fast

Tongue is too fat
to speak-
not because I bit it,
when I should have
known thy musclar
self-well-enough-
when I should have
known well enough
to shut up.
It is still swelling-
pride protrudes itself,
a warning-

NEVER
put that in a poem.

And Do Not Step on the grass
while seeds sit on top, germinating
like a poem. Too much
disruption
dislodges
any potential root
formation.

It is best not to flex with words
or assign metaphor more meaning
than conceivable
or suffer the stretch.

Here the open gash pushes
the inside out-
hypersensitive to air, this is where
salt heals,
and the best solution
showed its work,
long-hand,
ones carried
over the columned
poem.


Painting by Jules Breton [Public domain], 'The wounded Seagull' 1878 via Wikimedia Commons.

Tender are the soles

The body whines inaudibly
running organs with life's
friction or electrically charged
circles, as if one organism
could be fulfilled.

Cash can be exchanged for dignity,
pennies and thoughts are donated
in parking lots and churches
liberally, naked feet are sensitive
where there are rocks worn down
to pebbles by caloussed souls
heaving their weight in grains
of sand.

A mile more
to go
with these legs, feebled and folded
they foretell the weight of what we carry,
with the shoulders pinned to the sky
the strings held us up, dancing and frayed,
until the puppeteer, robotics engineer, and fear
take over,

it was all for the show,
since there was nothing the human could tell
about soles moving on
light as can be
like water
we cannot breathe.


Painting by Ford Madox Brown [Public domain], 'Jesus washing Peter's feet' c. 1852-56 via Wikimedia Commons.