D-cision (times)

When a person says “hanging by a thread”
Do they feel where the tether is connected?

Mostly suspended and trying to reconcile
Borrowed time,
Time itself stood firmly in front of me

While I was waiting to be told
how and where to move,
pretending I did not care.

How long each second seems when counting days…
I anticipated,
Am anticipating, I await a yellow box. Maybe today.
Already sent. To be
Here soon. Some of us can picture it
In transit.

I wonder if Schrodinger’s box can change colors,
Mid-ship-ment-
inside the dark mail bin-
People were praying,
And I did not know the words, so I thought
About the power of thoughts and how we change
Across our journeys
Those new destinations dangle the
Yellow fleece
But still, here we are,
Standing atop pins and needles
remaining tied to a place.

Painting by John Singer Sargent, 'Marionettes, Behind the curtain' c. 1903 in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Civic Duties

-Sit in a courtroom and observe a trial for two hours (ask an official which one is most interesting

you’ll find that everyone knows the schedule) Dress nicely and smile.

-Sit in the ER and read, only listen, do not make eye contact, do not touch the arms of the chair. 

Dress poorly. Do not smile.

-Wait in any lobby for someone-as if they were coming for you.

-Eat alone.

-Go to a cinema alone and take in a film alone. 

-Travel alone. Pack lightly. Smile small when you feel stupid and sorry and don’t know what to say.

-Drive to the DMV. Don’t get out of your car, just put it in Park (if available), idle and make some notes, reasons, identities, and etceteras. 

(Patience is guaranteed to be in no place. Like an ounce of gold in a ton of dirt. Don’t give any away to strangers handling hot pans.)

Wait with Will. Watch with wariness. Write with wonder.

Make the present interesting.

Active Membership dues are paid in Participation points,

The verbiage puts us in our places-

Your lines are next to appear, to  laugh or to frown

We are all just nouns waiting to be called adjectively. 

Artwork by George Romney [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, c. 1734-1802, 

Yale Center for British Art. 

Treading in week sauce

"Only thirteen more days"..."If I sleep it will go by faster"..."next week I will get my license"..."I can't wait until"..."not this week but the week after"..."are we almost there"...

"when will we go?"

(life lines)

Does it seem like a fair agreement to you 

that we are unable to read the fine print 

until the ink is dry and we've agreed to live

this way...before we know how to arbitrate?

(tug-of-war)

Now that I read in Anthropocene

dialect, it seems to say:

You have been given four thousand three hundred

and some odd weeks to spend-

In total. 

You have been granted just one ball on which

to do it All.

Spend this wisely-

there is no saving.

You may keep

Nothing.

Some portions must be traded for sleep

and eating your own words. 

Take it all in and then promptly let it all go

to show progress and more or less, make more with less

until you think you have the hang of It, feeling the slack.

(a rope)

It may read like a disclosure,

I will take you as I made you-the rest 

is what you do with It.

(a knot)

In portions, we cut corners and try to 

walk the shortest line in distance by diameter,

it all comes around-again.

(a bow)

May the most deserved rise on Sunday,

marking the start of something new

weekly waiting in circles of seven 

waiting to get on the short list they call 'Heaven'

while dwelling on the never do wells, sex sells

guilt tells All

(a noose)

All you get-Terms-It read, non-negotiable. 

You will have it all on this one ball-

All rolling faster as it passes apogee, Its gravity

growing as It approaches just two thousand weeks

left on this tiny sphered soul, daze taking toll

I roll over redemption until next weak. 

(a skein)

Painting by Paulus Lesire (1611–after 1654) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Isn't that touching

Felt again-
it will never go away.

Now we know. And must go on
even more
This is just as important

we hope

everytime more
can be enough
for now
-waiting-

We live
all the while we say we feel
Alive

sometimes, like memory
of morning sun in autumn light
cast down on dry dirt
heating up
the surface
even more than before
the first
time

And Time
again

open to the sense of it.



Painting by Alexei Harlamov (1840-1925), Portrait of a young girl, in [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

To Prey

Perched upon the precipice, putting it out...There

Toes of talons testing

Tensile strength

the weight of gravity’s grip

Knuckles fisted white feathers

circle around palms, swooping ling lines

under current, jet streams, screams

of circles

sees squarely, keen

seen belly dancing

BuTter-f-l-I-e-s

Flutter, stutter, mutter

pinned in air

frozen

tock-only

circles in the sand, out-lines

beat

        ArounD

the                  bush

Tracing the clock

You Are Here.

Composed 3/27/15.
Image By Justin Connaher (https://www.dvidshub.net/image/1695289) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Upping the Anti-cipation

Something was supposed to happen today

-yet didn't

I was ready for the news

-yet wasn't

prepared for the magnitude of the mundane

-yet mustn't

fret over the idle moment that moves in

-yet wouldn't mind

staying and waiting with me

-yet I couldn't

stand my own company, so I cancelled

our future plans

since I did not want to wait around until

the end

only to find

Something not supposed to be

(for me)

-yet nothing did

Significant-

(ly).

Composed 1/7/16.
Image of painting By Pascual Carlos Esteban (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

The Currency of Time Well Spent

Wavering in want

is wallowing in wait

for something to happen

while the world goes on.

Toiling the time

is the devils presence

when you are wishing

you were

some

one

else

some

where

else

who

saw

You

As

who

you

are

Now

and said,

I've been looking for

You

I've finally found

You

-they'd say.

And I'd see,

no time was wasted,

no time like the present,

when the devil may care. 

Image of painting by Joseph-Désiré Court, 1844 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Cue the line (Haiku)

Hung in suspension

a marionette of me

doing the limbo




Image By Daderot (Own work) [Public domain or CC0], via Wikimedia Commons.

Happily Never After

Image By GlenAFord at en.wikipedia [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

One of the hardest things to see
is when to accept that it may never be.
Both of our hearts bleed,
not able to give what each other may need.
Romance I think we have honestly tried-
and your effort cannot be denied...
But when you move to touch me anymore
my skin stings and my body feels bruised and sore.
I said I felt abandoned and neglected
And you say you always feel rejected.
How can we see eye to eye
when it feels like we are living in the safety of a lie?
Waiting for the good parts to come
meanwhile our hearts grow cold and numb.
The problem isn't whose to blame
No matter what we try it stays the same...
I am a thorn in your side,
making you feel obligated and tied
Safe and secure, tried and true
always a work in progress, relationships take two
Ten years is a long time to wait
only to find you've lost your soul mate.
When two people are in love
whatever appears difficult they're able to rise above
stronger together
unlike stormy weather
Circles of speech, a vortex of energy
even simple conversations have lost the synergy
Focused on whose right and whose wrong
I haven't been wanted, cherished, devoured in so long...
I keep waiting, searching for a sign
that you want to be just mine
"Its not important to me" was your excuse,
telling you how I feel is of no use.
Moving on, getting over it, forgive and forget, it's all okay
since nothing really matters that I say,
'I'm sorry's' galore, 'I didn't think of you'
is any of this your fault too?
Can this ever be fixed
without broken promises- left hanging or nixed?
Perhaps my heart is just to scarred
I don't think it should be this hard...
Even now when there's nothing to lose-
but after this long it's plain to see
that it's not me
you choose.