Definitive

Confidence is

the fear of failure

overcome

by intention and action.

Deja vu-

a memory of the future.

Something indistinct.

Yet distinct in an indescribable way.

Presence is a given

taken for granted

even when absent.

Forever and infinity

need time.

Now

never lasts long enough

to say what

It

Is.

Artwork credit: 'A woman pleating her hair', possibly La Cigale. Signed lower right: CAMILLE METRA, in Public domain c. 1890 via Wikimedia Commons.

Pastel 65 x 54 cm. (25 ½ x 21 ¼ in.)

Exhibited: Possibly the Salon of the Sociéte Nationale des Beaux-Arts, Paris, 1895, no. 1528.

Camille Métra exhibited regularly at the Salon of the Sociéte Nationale des Beaux-Arts from 1891 to 1903, using her maiden name before 1895 and exhibiting as Hubbard-Métra after her second marriage. Métra was also a member of the Union of Women Painters and exhibited frequently at their annual exhibition between 1891 and 1911.

Although we know little of her biography, Métra’s extant work reveals a talented artist, working in a late Academic and Art Nouveau style. Active primarily as a pastellist, though also confident with oil painting, Métra seems to have focussed on arcadian subjects, often derived from literary and mythological sources. She was also active as a portraitist, particularly of children. After the death of her first husband in 1892, Métra married the French politician Gustave-Adolphe Hubbard, with the couple divorcing in 1904.

Signed with her maiden name, the present work likely predates Métra’s marriage in 1895. The pastel may be La Cigale, exhibited at the Salon of the Sociéte Nationale des Beaux-Arts in 1894. Drawn from La Fontaine’s fable The Grasshopper and the Ant, the title alludes to the fate of one who (like a grasshopper) ‘sings all summer’ instead of preparing (like an ant) for the hardships of winter. By Métra’s time, La Cigale had become a metaphor for the beautiful bohème who lives with no thought for the future. A popular artistic subject in the late 19th century, La Cigale was typically depicted as a young brunette set against a verdant backdrop of foliage, usually with a musical instrument though not always so. Whatever the case, with her flowing tresses and emerging from a dense forest of vegetation, Métra’s young woman is an archetypal Art Nouveau subject.

Scratching the surface

It began then,

I used to practice on voodoo dolls

Aligning with the pencil first

But even then, something jerks the wrist

As my thoughts grow, futile

To chase after it

Vexing and curses said

I feel the weight

Of an eight-ton boulder of granite, leaded

Asserting its antiquity

On my shoulder, I can still try to erase

Rely on random distraction

Bolts are bold sparks-there I said it-

Losing my place

Lets me go

I fight with me

Incessantly, and yet words escape

Somehow-I’ve always been this way

Scribbling furiously, relieving pressure, dying inside

Without a place to put

What I no longer have room to hide

Scratching the surface with graphite

I hope the day comes when

Ink doesn’t remind me 

of my own blood.

Image of drawing by Carl von Bergen (1891) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.

Shoulda, Woulda, and Coulda

Shoulda, Woulda and Coulda*

Shoulda, Woulda and Coulda often complain

             while riding aboard the dinghy named "Fret"

Tangled in knotted refrain and regret

             avoiding the rip current of Change, the rudder is set

"Why not? What could go wrong? What is there to fear?"

             -are not the questions the three dared ask 

Then crewmates, Maybe and Might, forecast the outcome is unclear

             when bravely charting unknown water. And advised, ‘Leave doubt   

             in your wake when what you already knew the right way.’

As a Shoulda,

             Woulda

              or a Coulda, undoubtedly decided against, anyway.

Doubt and Worry pacing swab the deck,

              they claim its always slippery

Advising all to watch their step!

              This soggy pair prefers to predict catastrophes

Neither of these two will ever see past their four soggy feet

              To see some parts are already dry.

              "Not to fear, we've already been here! It's just like deja-vu!"

              "Pirates prosper by fear!"

But these words were gibberishly unclear and did not adhere

               to Shoulda

               Woulda

                and Coulda, trying to avoid their fretted fates.

Shipwrecked again off the Sea of Regret,

                moored in the ebb of murky vacillation

The lull of consistency, and eerie calm of sunset

                 foreseeable outcomes; one man's island destination

Lo’ on the horizon-a glimmer of light, a sparkling sight

                  a beacon, a bright idea, that maybe, might just be

                  up ahead, not so far, where the future is blinding bright,

                  past the buried benthic and what they Coulda not see, turbidity

                  and Shoulda done with what they Woulda had,  passed the possibility...

Shoulda and Woulda just missed a chance-

                  Coulda did nothing but complain

"What good is trying anyway-the path ahead is just happenstance"

                  So these three, bravery thieves, confidence takers,

                  deal breakers,

                  adventurous fakers,

                  remorse makers,

Coulda not comprehend, nor

Woulda they try to even extend

                   a helping hand to assist another

                   while occupied in their druthers,

and Shoulda patched the holes or learn how to swim.

*This poem was inspired by Eugene Field's poem "Wynken, Blynken and Nod". 
*Image of painting (oil) by Maxfield Parrish, 1902, "Wyken, Blynken and Nod"; [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.