To set the record straight about that time I fell of the Horner Bridge

I really jumped.
My friends did not go before me.
I was alone, despite any rumors
I may have been pushed.
The ones that love me
hate the gossip.
They like to think I simply slipped,
like one of those slippery memories.
But I was nevertheless aware all the more
of exactly where I stood,
the risk was irrelevant then.

As in suspension bridges,
where there's stretch and taut,
breadth and span,
it contracts beneath
your soles and whimpers under pressure
when you listen in...
I was standing with my arms out there
wide, back arched, chin jutted out, nostrils open
eyes closed and toes clenched
when something said
the more you know 
the more you die inside a little,
so I thought I'd find the middle when
I lept.

Except I lived to tell
I did it, I meant to
land on my purpose
or fail.
Ending the suspense
finally, in this way.
They say falling
I add willfully,
blindly, unafraid
and as it relates to history,
I fell hard
and only for me.

Image By Charlesdrakew, North Stoke Suspension Bridge (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.