Sift

Distinctly the pad of her hand

the inside of her thumb

tapping like a tambourine

white dust exploding upward

each solid strike

and dare ask

why do you do that Grandma?

She liked wearing an apron,

To make it all smooth and loose

or something like that

she said.

The white powder 

was not flour

on my parents' kitchen counter

back then the oven made

TV dinners 

better than the microwave.

And as I sift

through the coarse grains 

of the collapsed sandcastle 

of my own making

where I grew into

adding on and adding on

but built too close 

to the tideline-

there was nothing 

softer than flakes of carbon and gold

no solid memories endured 

the crashing

like white shells

of me. 

Painting by Granville Redmond, 'Talk at the beach' c. 1931 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

As in Synonymous

Chest

like vault

or treasure keeper-

holder

as in Heart

or locket, like a lockbox

fitted with skeleton key-

hole-

simply very heavy

and something

sounds 

broken

inside.

Unable to lift alone

as pallbearer in the past

I feel the dead weight 

familiar remembering

without seeing

This must be why

we bury our dead

in wooden chests such

as these 

likewise.

Photo credit: Harris & Ewing, photographer, taken 1925 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Whip-back-lash

 

As if I was taken for a ride

without asking for a one-way ticket

wherever not Home

As though it were a nice car

so it meant some safety built-in

As it was

my car

all along

And I let a drunk drive

which explains the carnage

and typical manner

of walking away unscathed

as though blood diluted without alcohol

creates a cushion

in impact-

In fact

the driver always walks away

with a death sentence

that ends 

with a sober

period. 

Photo credit National Archives at College Park, taken c. 1970 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Plumage

 

The way the sea lion

thrusts its slick body

into the ink stain

cloud of fish-

snagging perhaps one

or two

feels successful-

As does the damsel dragonfly

darting into plumes of gnats

dissipating like dust motes

in the slanted October sun

devouring one at a time

determined to dine until dusks end. 

The jumbo jet pierces the jeweled

sky, stirring low sounds and tearing 

a hole above

carries bodies

aimlessly, defying time and gravity

yet the traveled disperse

undone.

For just one

the chase was everything

but effort

whereas above,

so below,

there was always more

or less 

grace 

with a predator

and its prey. 

Painting by David de Coninck, titled 'A peacock, turkey, rabbits, and cockerel in a landscape' c. 1659-1701 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

B Tray

As in

not first

but alternate

a back-up after

A

Designation

of not 

Primary

B sides

after-thought-

empty-blanked

there was no time-

paper-music-words

left

to eat.

Painting credit: Édouard VuillardMadame Prosper Emile Weil at her desk circa 1923. Pastel and distemper on paper mounted on board59.5 x 52.5 cm board; 82.5 x 75.5 x 8 cm frameArt Gallery of New South WalesGift of Margaret Olley 1999.

Command prompt

 

You know

I couldn't sit down

for the longest time-until now

and realized-that meant I was staying.

In shock

in a new Purgatory

between the life not gone

and the one not yet begun.

Of course 

change isn't This to That

transition is a stretched out process

that sinks, tears, and wears on the traveler.

Perhaps progress

is just change

that never arrives-per se

or takes a seat...

Painting by Vilhelm Hammershøi, 'Rest' c. 19905 in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

The 10th month

October days are merely

dawn passing the dim torch to dusk.

Layering

upon the earthen floor

over our bodies

the elements are intensified

between what lives and what dies

a time

to dwell together

in muted tones.

These October days

all end 

with soul dark nights,

crisp as the apparition

that spurns and nudges 

one to never be

done.  

Photo credited by Los Angeles County Museum of Art, 'Gift of Mrs. Ruthe Feldman in memory of Philip Feldman (M.91.377.52)' in Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.